Sunday Sentiments is an attempt to record what God has been teaching me and the way in which He does it.
I tweeted this morning: "God and I are cool but I'm definitely in a 'not going to church' rut."
I went to bed last night fully intending that I would go. I tossed and turned, restless sleep. And when it was almost 7, I knew with assurance that I did not want to, nor could I go.
I love the worship and sermons at my church but I have not found true fellowship there yet. No one knows if I miss. I have no husband or kids motivating me out the door.
Sometimes I'll go Saturday night because I do enjoy having lazy Sunday mornings to read the newspaper and drink my Irish Breakfast tea. And sometimes I just wish that I had someone to sit with, so I'll attempt to go to the 8 am service when I can sit with my best friend and her family.
I was at a different church a few weeks ago while out of town and found myself distracted. The worship time was a show, the sermon difficult to follow and surface level only. It reminded me of my uneasy truce with church attendance. It's not that we should go to church because of what we get out of it, though certainly there should be some sort of challenge and growth as a result. But we also shouldn't go out of a legalistic sense of duty.
It seems like for every 3 or 4 weeks that I attend church, there's a couple of weeks of absence. I wonder sometimes if I don't go to church because I can choose not to go. I didn't go last week or this weekend but I'll be back next week because this has been my trend the last few years.
Apparently I'm not the only one that feels this way. As I told a friend, I'm not sure why it happens, if it's me or if it's church itself or The Church.
Is it a bad trend? I'm not sure. As my friend MK reminded me, maybe God is telling me to simply be still before Him and to listen.
Communion with God occurs in unexpected places. Today I am going to be still and I am going to listen.
How do you feel about church attendance? Have you ever fallen into a rut? And if not, what's your favorite flavor of Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream?