I left work early on Friday due to food poisoning. I had entirely too much to do but you can't argue with food poisoning. After the week I'd had, it seemed like a strangely fitting end.
I realized a few things as I listed about the house waiting to feel better.
1. I tend to overshare about my illnesses. If I'm sick, I'll probably tell you about it, even if it's not so bad that I need to stay home. I've always enjoyed making my dad and brother squirm by telling them about my cramps. But how many people want to hear the ins and outs of my food poisoning? Other than my mom, no one.
2. This gives me good insight as to my conversation topics when I am an 87 year old woman. However, if you patiently listen to the tales of aches and pains, I promise I will then regale you with my latest adventures. Which will hopefully amount to more than winning Bingo last weekend. I want to be the feisty old lady who still gets herself into trouble!
3. Never, ever go on WebMD.com unless you want to convince yourself that you're about to die. I thought I learned this lesson several years ago when some strange neurological symptoms led to a description of MS. (See how I'm oversharing again?) This sent me freaked out to my doctor, who performed a few simple tests which quickly ruled out MS, and told me the symptoms would resolve, which they did a few days later. So yes, I knew better than to go on this website. But this round of food poisoning was different than what I've experienced before so to WebMD I went. I promptly believed that my appendix had burst and spent much of Friday and Saturday questioning at what point I should go to the hospital, lamenting the lack of a PCP which I've been meaning to find since I moved, and whether this particular pain was actually my appendix. It wasn't. I'm totally fine now.
4. Old Navy has a really catchy song on their dress commercial. I watched enough TV to almost memorize it and now it's stuck in my head. Time to put my music back on....
I have no idea why I like sharing details of my illnesses. Am I trying to prove to people that I really am sick? I think the fact that I cried (why, oh, why do I cry when I'm sick?) on the phone to my boss on Friday was proof enough that I felt miserable. It might be because I live by myself and morbidly wonder if I'll die from some fluke illness and no one will notice for a few days. In this sense, I'm putting people on notice to check up on me. Sometimes though, I think that if I share enough detail (but not too much of the really gross detail- I have some discretion) that the person will tell me about this awesome home remedy and I'll be quickly cured!
In light of these revelations, I'm going to practice keeping my mouth shut next time I get sick.
Unless you're my mom. In which case, prepare yourself for a detailed explanation of my latest cold.