"God wanted to transform Jacob, but transformation is never easy and it always involves pain...In this final stage, many of us give up and go back home to our Given Names. Wrestling God takes its toll, and even though we're only inches away from a new identity, we let is slip away once more." -Your Secret Name, p. 141-142
"God knows our only shot at a true blessing comes by uncovering our true identity. But before we can discover our Secret Name, we must first confess our Given Name- a pattern found throughout the Bible." -p. 143God knew Jacob's name, what it meant and how Jacob lived. He didn't ask him his name out of curiosity but to see if Jacob would admit it. Would Jacob take the opportunity to speak truthfully or to fall back on his deceiving ways?
This is a question we all face. Who are we? What are our names?
My given name doesn't hold any secret meanings. Leigh is a derivation of Lee and Leah, all of which mean "meadow." Meadows, to me, evoke feelings of peace and serenity. Often beautiful scenery but deprive it of water and it will become desolate and dry.
I've shared about my past Given Names and the freedom I've since experienced. It's time to face the Given Names I still hold on to. If speaking them out loud, or at least confessing them in written form, is the key to discovering my Secret Name, it is time for me to do so. I don't want to stay entrenched in my issues. I don't want to miss out on how God wants to use me for His glory.
So here I speak, here I confess. And it's scary, putting my issues out on the sacrificial table. I am more afraid that I will miss out on a portion of God's peace and contentment, however. These things, they weigh me down.
I don't want to call myself:
Invisible, overlooked, unnoticeable.
Unwanted/Unattractive (in the romantic sense- I tend to think that I'm cute but not enough to attract notice from men.)
Pessimist, only ever toward myself. I'm a huge optimist when it comes to everyone else.
I don't want to believe I am less because I am:
Single. (No matter if others do.)
That's it. That's me, the me I don't want to be. I want to believe that God has great plans for me. I want to believe that some of my dreams will come true.
I want to know what my Secret Name is. I have a guess and I have some ideas of how I'm going to claim that name. But that, my friends, is for another time and another post.
What Given Names are you holding on to? What is God trying to teach you right now?
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This post is part of the Your Secret Name Read-Along hosted by the ever-lovely Marla Taviano.