Sunday, September 5, 2010

Sunday Sentiments: Perspective

Sunday Sentiments is an attempt to record what God has been teaching me and the way in which He does it.

I've been in a funk the past week.  If you saw me at work or at play, you probably wouldn't guess it and you'd be right.  While I'm working or hanging out with new friends or going to fabulous shows, I'm distracted and don't have to deal with what's lurking beneath. 

When I'm home, I have time to contemplate.  I started Beth Moore's Breaking Free Bible study this past Monday night.  This is not my first Beth Moore study so I'm used to the homework, the teaching format, and the small group discussion.  I know that she'll unpack the Bible in a way that's fresh and relatable, which is why I continue to do her studies.  There's some trepidation about this particular study though.  I have an idea of what's ahead because of other friends who have gone through it.  I know that in some way, shape, or form, my faith is going to be stretched and that it won't look pretty.

I know I'm not perfect but I have no idea what part of my character God is going to be developing through this study.  It could be a new tweak on my old, familiar issues.  It might be laying some dreams down (scary!!!)  I might have to step out in more dependence on God, when I thought I was doing a good job just by moving here.  I know that I can only use that excuse for so long!

I don't know what God will be teaching me but I am trying to keep an open heart.  Sanctification is sometimes ugly but it's ultimately for the best.  It helps to keep that in mind during the tough parts.

I've been feeling a bit weepy this past week, too.  I'm someone that needs to cry every so often.  Some of this is because of my personality, some of it is how I naturally cope with life, and some of it is how I process with my job.  If I don't just let myself cry, after a certain point it'll come out during a movie, book, song, whatever's handy.  Only, I've been irritated by my weepiness this week because it's due to the same old things and I want to stop being bothered by them.

Enter life.  Enter this morning's sermon.  Enter the news that the mother of an old friend died Friday night after a long journey with early-onset Alzheimer's disease.  Enter the news that Amy at New Nostalgia has been diagnosed with breast cancer.  Enter the books I've been reading that are challenging me to keep it all in perspective.

This doesn't mean there's not a time and a place for my tears.  It does mean I need a right perspective of myself, God, and what's truly important in this life.  It's a wake-up call that I needed.  For all that's wrong in the world around me, I still have much to be grateful for.  I'd rather focus on that.  For now, at least.  Chances are I'll be learning this lesson for the rest of my life.

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